Ain’t no telling when I’m down for a jack move
Man, what an exhausting week here at Kickass Central. Yesterday I got to work and my boss was all like: “Hey Jon, you should totally go to Pittsburgh right now.” And so that’s what I did. I went to Pittsburgh for the day. And now I’m back.
You see, we had some employees up there that were flaking and perpetrating, but scared to kick reality. And I had been doing all this dope producing, leaving little chance to show them what time it is. So yeah. Pittsburgh. Nothing like a quick 10-hour drive to make your Thursday extra super duper fun.
Oh and hey, guess what else? I’m making my annual pilgrimage up to scenic Natick, Massachusetts on Sunday*. Hell to the Yeah. I sure do love Thanksgiving. It’s the best holiday ever, and not just because I don’t have to buy my wife any jewelry. I get to eat a ton of food, sit on my ass all week, and even watch some football. Okay so that’s basically the same thing I do here in Baltimore. BUT I also get to see all my friends and family up north, which is a little slice of fantastic. Scratch that. It’s a wicked huge slice of fantastic. I bet they’re already fighting amongst themselves over who gets to buy me my first beer. (Skip, I’m looking in your direction.)
So that’s the good news. The bad news is I’ll be away from my blog for the next week. Oh sure, I suppose there’s a chance I’ll do some live-blogging from the Bay State. I mean, in theory, there’s also a chance I’ll go on a cross country tour of Chili’s restaurants. Stranger things have happened, am I right?
But more than likely, the only people who will get to enjoy my various witty comments and hilarious noises will be members of my immediate family. It’s tough to say who the real winner is in that scenario, but clearly it’s not them.
Anyway, have a nice Turkey Day everybody. Feel free to litter my blog with comments while I’m gone, just like the Pilgrims did to the Native Americans back at the very first Thanksgiving. Small Pox blankets and blog comments. (Check your history books, people.)
* Unless you live in Baltimore, in which case I’ll be sitting in my living room all week with a shotgun, watching for trespassers.**
** Stay the hell off my lawn, hippie.
15 comments so far
Leave a reply
Travel safe, and be sure to belch and scratch for me.
So there’s a chance you’ll be away from your blog for a week? Well consider me SHOCK & AWED!
Anyway, Happy Turkey Day!
No need to check your history books, biznitches. I got that small pox and colored bead angle covered in my blog. Reading books is for chumps.
Unless, you know, you ARE the Jonathan Karp that owns his own publishing company. Then, they’re awesome, and I totally have some kickass ones that will rock the world. And by rock the world, I mean make me some money. Er, you. Make YOU some money. Yeah.
It will be a lonely week without you in Blogland. Happy Thanksgiving!
first beer is on me
as long as it’s domestic
and no microbrews either
and none of that expensive bud lime or golden wheat crap either
I don’t know why, but I get the feeling your family get-togethers are very funny.
Don’t worry. I’ll watch the house for you. And by watch the house, I mean loot the hell out of it. No worries
what the deuce?! I was just driving down to Maryland for the holidays…
Laughing at skip’s comment, nice.
I’m too white to know a jack move from a bag of oregano, but I have watched every episode of The Wire so I keeps one in the chamber in case you’re ponderin’
Yay, Pittsburgh!
I’m trying to put yesterday’s game out of my mind.
Watch out for Chili’s el Presidente.. I’m pretty sure that’s how I ended up pregnant, again.
Jesus, I can’t believe they sent you to Shittsburgh. You poor bastard.
I would have loved to spend my Thanksgiving watching football. Instead I got vag-flashed several times.
NWA references FTMFW
Have fun and be safe.
Dead? Because that’s the only good excuse you could have for not blogging.